It's been a long day...

And I promised to blog more today about my testimony...so I'll just say that soon after I got baptized, with my divorced parents in attendance, I started videotaping church services and broadcasting an hour-long show on Phoenix public access. It was very convenient to have the television station just two miles away, since I didn't own a car. I would bike there and sit in an editing suite for hours, using the footage I'd collected on a previous Sunday. For years, I had wanted to be a filmmaker, and it finally seemed that my dream was being realized--but I was no longer attempting to fulfill artistic ambition...I was working for Jesus, through my small Baptist church, and having a real blast.

My testimony of God's grace--part 1

I'm reading Cultivating a Life for God, by Neil Cole, and I was encouraged by the passage I read this morning to share my testimony of God's grace in my life.

I knew about Jesus from an early age, went to church, read the Bible, and even asked Him to come into my heart at a church camp. Thereafter, I kept asking Him to come back into my heart, because I thought He was making some quick exits each time I committed sin. My life in Christ eventually became limited to some halfhearted prayers muttered before drifting to sleep.

At the age of 21, September 1995 (10 years from right now, as a matter of fact), I felt on the edge of a nightmare, as I prepared to graduate from Grand Canyon University in a few months. I didn't know where I would go next, what kind of career I would have, or how to do much of anything besides watch movies, go to school, use my cameras, and work at a video store. I would not have said then that I hungered for God, but I did know that my heart longed for unconditional love--wherever I could get it. I had watched my dad end/begin 4 marriages in 3 years, and I now know that I inherited much of his grasping after love.

When a girl I liked from one of my classes agreed to let me treat her for dinner after she helped me with a school project, I did whatever I could to get her to love me, including going to church with her. Even started reading the Bible again. It took me a long time to get over the fact that she would never love me in the way I wanted--about 6.5 years in fact. But she did help me see that what I was looking for could not be found in a human relationship--that I needed to seek after God for the kind of love my heart needed. And I did--I tried it. And He did--He met with me and showed me His power over my sin, over my career, my finances, friendships, and everything else--when I put my life in His hands and invited Him to do whatever He wanted with it.

I really started growing right after graduation, when another friend, who worked at a small Baptist church, invited me to live with him and work for the church part-time. This was the first time I ever lived in real community with other believers, and God completely changed my world view.

More tomorrow...

Please pray

I have some friends in Central Asia who are undergoing some intense pressure. If you will read their email excerpts below and pray, I believe God will hear and allow them to stay longer than the government would normally allow. Thanks for your partnership.

"We would like to make you aware that we are currently in a fairly serious situation regarding our ability to stay here. To keep the story short, suffice it to say that the president of this country appears to believe that the U.S. and western governments are actively involved in trying to have him removed from office via encourging revolutions like what has occurred in Georgia, Ukraine, and Kyrgyzstan. He seems to believe that the mechanism used in these other countries (this has some truth to it) and the mechanism being used in here is via western and western-funded, non-governmental organization (NGOs). We work for a western NGO--a humanitarian aid organization.

Therefore, our NGO, like all others is being watched closely and has recently been audited by the government here. As is typical with audits, deficiencies were found and the government wants to have these addressed plus they are requesting information that we would rather not provide regarding how we are financed (who our donors are, etc.) and they want to have a say in our project plans.

In the past, we would have politely refused to provide certain information that the U.S. government here is telling us we shouldn't provide (not because we are trying to hide political agenda--we just would rather not give out names of donors--this includes some of you reading this) . However, a number of NGOs have been forced to leave as has the Peace Corps (they left several months ago) and this past week one had its operations suspended for 6 months (we aren't sure what that means) for refusing to provide the information that we also do not want to provide. In fact, it seems that the approach our NGO normally would take is what that organization did and has been suspended for it.

We now need to respond to the government in the next several weeks on this and need wisdom on how to do so as no matter what approach is taken, it seems to have high potential for problems. We want to state clearly here that in fact our NGO is NOT a political organization and we are NOT involved in activities encouraging political directions. It may very well be that the government recognizes this and is requiring a lot of information to verify that or it may be the case that they are making a case to have us removed. We don't know but we can put our trust in the Almighty God who does know.

-We really want God to strengthen the believers and help them to be ready to stand if we have to leave. Pray that God would help them to stand on their own, or help them to trust another group enough to join with them.
-Pray for the leader that he would persevere through some disappointments in his family which have really got him down.
-Those disappointments are continuing division among the women in his extended family. Yesterday at the little Bible study I do with them we read I Corin 13 and I didn't say anything. I told them to meditate and pray over it this week and we'll talk about it next week. Pray that the Holy Spirit will convict them and grant them repentance. It is this issue probably more than anything that is making it impossible for them to become a proper church. We need a Holy Spirit fired break through~!
-Another disappointment has been baptized friends and relatives in a neighboring village have wiped out, partly because we (for security and other reasons) can't go out there on a regular basis and meet with them and there is no fellowship of any kind out there. They understand so little and are so messed up. How can we help them grow? How can God establish them out there?
-A still can't get off the steroids, tried to drop his dose but had to go back up. That alone may knock us out.
-We would love to see God move among all the people we've shared with, showed the film to, or done seekers groups with. Also pray for repentence for people who have come to faith and then fallen away.
-The kids are doing great and absolutely love it here. Pray that God would give them grace-I know they sense some uncertainty.
-Pray for dear C. as she's busy filling out college application forms and taking SAT's etc on top of a very full academic load, she too would love to see some of her friends come to faith before she leaves.
-God may be calling us on to something else. Pray that A will have time to write you about it, and that we would know what He wants us to do.
-If we are to have to go, pray that God would help a poor ADHD housewife who's homeschooling 4 kids know what in the world to do with a house full of stuff! and that we wouldn't have to go on short notice, and for good closure.
-Our house in the states needs a renter. That can't help our debt situation which results from a crazy summer of travel and reequipping our family.
We are in need of God's help right now. Thank you for being such good friends to us.

PS Two women who used to go to our little women's group but I haven't seen in a long time asked the host women if we'd be reading the scripture again this fall - they want to meet with us again! Pray that God would establish them and their families in Him. See I ended on a positive note!
THIS ONE FROM ANOTHER WORKER IN THE SAME COUNTRY
Please continue to pray.
2 other non-government organizations (the type that we are under) were closed down over the weekend. They are both more politically connected to the west than we are but it is still not a good sign. Please pray that we will be able to stay. If we weather this storm for the next 4-6 months we may be through the worst for a while. Also pray as myself and two other guys on our tm work through contingencies. We asking questions about what we would do as families and as a tm if we found ourselves without an organization. These require real leading from the Lord on it all.
We're still hopeful and continue to dive in to whatever He gives our hands to do. And good things are still happening. Please also pray for a possible leadership forum that I'm working through it's conceptual stages. This would be a place for local leaders to come and gather and share ideas and encourage one another as a body.

AND ANOTHER...
We need your prayers right now. We need the Lord to intervene. We are not in danger, but our Non-Government Organization (NGO), the organization for which we work here doing education, community, and health projects throughout our region is under scrutiny. They have done an "audit" of our organization (in the main office in the capital city) and have found many errors, most of which are questionable (did not sign on the right line, translation not notarized,...). Now let me be clear that we are doing our best to be above reproach and obey the law, but they can always find fault or make something up if need be. The so-called "errors" are not what is important at this time. Our main office staff can fix and/or deal with most of them relatively easily. The issue, however, is whether they will let us do that. The atmosphere among government officials here currently is one of distrust of most things foreign. They have already shut down a few NGO's and have denied visas to people. They may just be checking us to make sure we are not doing the "wrong" things (by their definition) and once they are convinced, then we will be in the clear. Or they may have already decided that our time has come and nothing we can do will matter. We honestly do not know.

But what we do know is that God is the One who is truly in control. He has given authority to these men and women. Also, this battle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual powers of darkness. In the end, what decisions are made are up to God, and He listens to the prayers of His people.

Please pray that He would grant us favor with the authorities here, and that we could come to an understanding. Please make this a daily prayer until you hear from us.

They are expecting a report by the end of September so we will keep you informed.

How do you wake up?

When you open your eyes every morning (I'm assuming you open your eyes in the morning), is your first thought: Get me to the coffeemaker.
Or maybe: Am I late?
Or: I have a million things to do today, and I'm already behind.
Or: Five more minutes--where's the snooze button?
Or maybe it's a simple: Thank you--I'm alive, the sun is shining, my God loves me, today holds limitless possibilities, how can I best bring You glory, Lord?

I think God cares a lot about how we begin things...it sets the tone for the rest of whatever it is that we do, whether it's living out a day of vacation, pursuing an education, a marriage, or a ministry. Look at the way you begin things and compare the results of a day begun poorly with the results of a day begun meditating on God's Word, enjoying His beauty, and humbly submitting yourself to whatever He wants you to do (or not do).

God bless you today as You listen for His voice.

Blessed are the cheesemakers

My title comes from one of my favorite lines from film, in which a British-sounding Israelite stands at the back of a crowd, trying to listen to Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, when the confused man believes that he hears 'Blessed are the Cheesemakers" and wonders aloud, "What's so special about them?"

Of course, most people know that what the man might have heard, if he'd only been standing closer, was "Blessed are the Peacemakers"

So what is a peacemaker anyway, and how does one become one of them?

Glad you asked, because I've just been learning about it the last couple days, along with nearly all of the Firestone U.S. staff. We're meeting at a church nearby and being led by one of our long-term, mature team leaders. He surprised me yesterday by saying the only thing he and his wife have learned after their 2 decades church planting overseas: is that all of their ministry can be summed up in the one word: peacemaking.

It's been a very enlightening set of seminars, and, each afternoon, we're doing role plays to try resolving real-life examples of conflict, using the info. we've been receiving. Today, we received a lesson on contrition--what constitutes real contrition as opposed to a halfhearted/fake apology (such as "I was wrong...please forgive me for..." rather than "I'm sorry if my actions led you to take offense")

From the teacher's experience on the field, he shared a story of a Muslim he knows who came to Christ, having nothing to his name, basically dressed in rags, and living hand-to-mouth in someone's flower shop. He also had tuberculosis. The Firestone leader was a bit skeptical of the man's faith, but, after probing further, found the man's faith to be genuine. The leader was concerned that he would need to start caring for all of this man's needs, but he was prepared to do whatever God wanted. Soon after the meeting, the new believer was sent by the government to a hospital, where his illness could be treated. While there, Firestone workers visited with him to study Scripture. When they asked the man if he had a job lined up or a place to stay after his eventual release from the hospital, his answer was "No" Then they studied Jesus' words about forgiving others, so that God will also forgive you. The following week, when they asked the man if he had a job or a place to live, his answer was "Yes"

They were surprised and asked him what happened. The new believer reminded them of the Scripture and told them he had obeyed it, going to the brother he had not spoken with in 7 years. They were reconciled, and the brother offered him a place to live and a job.

Using stories like this, our leader explained to us why all of his ministry was actually peacemaking--that bringing reconciliation between men and God also required reconciliation taking place between beings, where relationships needed to be repaired.

More to come...

No Perfection Please

Many people might think that I, having worked for a Christian org. like Firestone for nearly seven years, have a job where people are kind to one another, considering others more important than themselves, and full of Christ's love...and, in many cases, they'd be right. I work for a non-profit with high goals and solid leadership. But we continue to sin, as in all human endeavors. That is part of the reason why, now that I have Internet access at home, I'm required to use Covenant Eyes on my computer, showing another person which websites I'm accessing on a monthly basis. It's the reason why we have auditors come each year to examine our financial accounting. And it's why, next week, we're going to take 3 days out of our normal routine to attend a Peacemaking seminar led by a longtime Firestone leader and his wife. We need to learn how to handle conflict in godly ways, along with our field workers. Most people are surprised to learn that the #1 reason people end up leaving the field is because they can't /won't get along with their fellow team members or leader. This should not be so, but...

It's also been said that if a person has habitual sin and marriage conflict or health issues while in the U.S., those problems can and do usually become more intense serving on the field. But I also believe there are distinct advantages to abandoning an American lifestyle and committing oneself to a team's approach for living the life of Christ on earth, as His body. In some cases, being on the field, away from fleshly comforts, can actually lead you to truly rely on Christ, who laid down His life for us and calls us to do the same.

The last few weeks have been intense for us personally. Trying to consider all things as rubbish compared to knowing Christ...not the easiest thing to do when you're looking at your circumstances and wondering how to make it through one more day without giving up. Last night, President Bush was talking about the "whims of nature" and, alomost in the same breath, referring to a God who cares for us. Whose whims could he be talking about then, if not the Lord's? And I don't think He has whims--just purposes and plans that are being carried out with Divine perfection. He really is in control, though we don't undestand why He allows different conflicts to intrude within our perfect circles of "safety". More later...

Named after Jim Ryun

My father is a life-long runner. I think he began cross-country and track-and-field during high school, and it quickly became his big thing. Throughout college, he was running and attending cross-country meets. After he married my mom, he kept running. When I was born, he named me after one of his favorite runners, Jim Ryun (Ryun is my middle name), who was one of the first men to run a mile in less than 4 minutes--now, he's in Congress. Once a year, Dad would take my brother and me to a track, so he could time us in running the quarter-mile and compare year-by-year. He was a running coach for as long as I can remember, too. He helped start the Mon-Dak (stands for Montana-Dakota) races--which are still being held to this day. I remember eating leftover McDonalds chesseburgers, drinking orange soda out of the extra track meet giveaway mugs--for weeks afterwards.

Dad always wanted me to be a runner, like him. In 7th grade, he talked me into joining my school's cross-country team and offered a signing bonus of $5/week--double my allowance! It was a miserable experience, but one that I'm glad I submitted to now. Better than sitting in front of the television...which I did for probably 2-3 years of my 18 years growing up ( a rough estimate).

But even though I very rarely put on my jogging shorts and sprint around in this Arizona heat, I do know that I'm in a race...some days, I feel like I'm winning and just about to see a finish line. Other days, I let the pack pass me by, and I slow to a crawl, stopping to see the scenery around me. The trick is to know where you are at all times--to know the course, so that you can pace yourself and know when it's necessary to put on some extra speed.

You can't ignore the fact that you're in a race either--being timed and penalized if you travel outside the racing area. Hmmm...How far can I carry this analogy?

If you're reading this, I encourage to run the race God has placed you in with perseverance and faith, not allowing any sin to get in your way today--because your race will end, there will be an accounting, and lives hang in the balance.

It's been too long

What can I rejoice to God about?

How about a humble overseas worker--check this out from my friend "TJ" whom I trained under this past summer in SE Asia (and please pray for him, too):

The Competitor

I was born into this earth already a winner. I was one of 270 million people that called themselves American. The majority of the 6 billion residents of this planet scrape by from day to day. I was privileged to move into a new home as a child and was never denied any of my needs. No, I wasn’t born into the richest family on earth, but I can say in retrospect that I had things very good.

Was this enough for me? No. I began to judge myself by those around me. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I could work the system, in my head, to make me superior to virtually anyone. They may be smarter than me, but I was a better athlete than them. Maybe they were a better athlete, but I was smarter than them. When did I start to learn this system? I don’t know…I do remember that only half the class in kindergarten learned to read, and I was one of those who learned to read, a fact that my friend reminds me of still. But I really think this idea was embedded in my psyche in high school when it came time to vote for “class favorites” and “most likely to succeed”. That was when this economy became a part of me. It was vital to be talented, to value people based on who they were, and what they could do and above all to try to be better than they were at something.

Somewhere along the road, I became a Christian. No problem, because this economy dovetails nicely with much of contemporary Christian thinking. Therefore, since I could quote all the books of the Bible, the 23rd Psalm and lots of other verses from memory it merely fit nicely into this idea that I was somehow better than most everyone. Little did I understand that this belief was quite extra-Biblical. Would I have ever confessed to holding to this economy of value? No, not in a million years, but it secretly drove almost everything that I did.

Fast forward to today. I still have a tendency to operate under this same skewed belief. I love the local food, while others don’t, therefore I must be better. I always measure my command of the local language by my co-labourers. If it is better than theirs, I must be better than them. If it isn’t better, I am better in a different area, maybe local slang or pronunciation or vocabulary.

This last month I have really been struggling with this economy, not because I wanted to, but because God was really putting his finger on this area of my life. I was quite happy to keep living exactly the way I had my whole life.

Galatians was a book written to a group of people who had come to faith in Jesus Christ. They had walked faithfully as long as Paul was around to guide them in their faith. But, after Paul left them, they began to combine their new faith with the legalism they had known under Judaism. This is observed in Galatians 4:9 & 10: “But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again? You observe days and months and seasons and years.”

As I read and reread these verses and chapters, a solemn truth began to dawn in my soul. Galatians was written for ME. I had become a Christian early in my life, but I was just as guilty as the Galatians. I had returned to the way of life I knew, to the way of life I was comfortable with. This was to measure myself and others around me by their abilities or wealth or adherence to Christian disciplines.

The moment I was crucified with Christ, I was redeemed out of this value economy and into a different one. This economy is one of grace. God’s grace. Why am I important? Because God loves me! Am I more important than anyone? No, because God loves the world!! (cf. John 3:16) But I had for so long been operating in the old economy, and in turn missing the joy that comes from the new. Instead of being encouraged by my brother or sister’s faith, I was threatened by it, and missed the joy of loving them and rejoicing with them.

If you doubt the reality of this economy of grace, consider Galatians 3:27 &28:
For all of you who were baptized into Christ have been clothed
yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there
is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; you
are all one in Christ.

Then I continued on in my quiet times, reading into Ephesians. For some reason the Holy Spirit started to show me that at no time in Galatians or Ephesians does Paul tell the believers to preach to the pagans. The closest he comes to that is when he tells them to hold forth the Word of life. Paul is much more concerned that they understand who they are in Christ and how that breaks into their lives. Twice in Ephesians Paul writes extended prayers detailing how he wants their eyes to be opened to certain truths of Christ. (Ephesians 1:18-23 and 3:14-21) It seems that Paul was much more concerned about their identity in Christ and their identification with Christ than how many tracts they handed out.

Then I read in Philippians 2:1 &2:
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
And Philippians 1:27:
Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit with one mind, striving together for the faith of the gospel. (Emphasis mine)

My whole life I have been working in a value economy which rated myself and others on certain “value points”. It was not a Biblical idea, but something that entered humankind with the Fall. Cain killed Abel, because he too was a competitor like me and he wanted to get rid of the competition. When I took this value economy into my newfound faith, I was able to get it to ‘work’ but never realized the cost. In this economy, my outward actions counted ten times more than my inward walk. So, my inward communion and character were secondary to the things I did in front of others. And I secretly measured myself by them and their outward actions, never fully grasping or comprehending that we were all valuable because Christ chose to love us. (Sure, I could tell you Christ loved us equally in theory.) How does one develop community when one is secretly competing with all the other members? Very poorly.

Paul, on the other hand, said we should not continue to work in this value economy, but should realize we are equal in Christ. Wesley put it this way: “The vilest offender who truly believes, that moment from Jesus a pardon receives.” Paul wanted Christians to not compare themselves with one another, but rather pursue Christ because he is the only thing worth pursuing. Secondly, Paul placed equal weight on the internal and external marks of the faith. Thirdly, Paul placed great stress on community, a community that could be built because its members were not fighting one another but were pursuing Christ in unison.

Francis Schaeffer remarks: “When we talk of the Christian life or true spirituality, when we talk about freedom from the bonds of sin, we must be wrestling with the inward problem of not coveting against God and men, of loving God and men, and not merely some set of externals.” (True Spirituality)

My escape from this value economy and into the economy of grace is LOVE. Perhaps this was in the mind of Paul when he wrote I Corinthians 13, the “love chapter”. Or perhaps it was on the heart of John the Evangelist when he penned I John, the “love book”. Actually, it can be traced back a bit further, to Christ himself.
Matthew 22:36-39:
“Teacher, which is the great commandment of the Law? And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’”

I find it more than serendipity that I am having this revealed in me at the very time two new team members are arriving here. If I see them as a project, a set of goals to put in place or problems to be solved, I would be useless to them as a leader. And I could miss the true blessing it is to love someone and pursue Christ in community with them.

This also helps me understand why the world works the way it does. All of those outside the family of faith will naturally work in the value economy, so of course they will cut me off in traffic or complain about the way I do something. They are only doing what comes natural to them, and I have been redeemed from that economy.

2 Corinthians 5:16 & 17:
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view.
Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has
gone, the new has come!

Wednesday-New Workers: By September 13th all the new interns will have arrived. Pray for them as they settle into this country and look for housing, eat new foods, and learn a new language. Pray for me as I interact with D and J, that my love for them will be evident to all, but especially them.

My bad

A couple nights ago, I was in a pretty poor mood, and I took things out on my poor blog. If you happened to open it during the 45 minutes that piece of now-disposed writing was actually posted, I apologize--still battling the flesh over here.

I've been amazed watching the news the last few nights, looking at a real live wrecked city. Why is God allowing this now? What do the nations think? Is this America's come-uppance? Will they be sending us foreign aid anytime soon?

Sometimes, my job seems to have nothing to do with bringing Muslims to Christ. Like today, I had a couple conversations with a young man who's trying to pass his nursing exam. He spent part of the summer in North Africa, and he wants to go back and use his nursing degree there one day soon. But for now, he's battling his way through college one exam at a time, and he needs all the encouragement he can get. He just called to rejoice in the passing grade he received in an online exam. Woo-hoo!

Katherine and I are heading out now to drop off some items at the city's main post office, then we'll be eating Israeli food (first time for me) with a couple of newlyweds seeking to plant churches among the poor. Thanks for your patience in waiting for this new blog.