If God wills...

I'm struggling a little theologically, and I think it's a good thing because I'm thinking about God a lot more and not making dumb assumptions. The topic on my mind is suffering, and there have been two voices in my life (one is from my church, while the other is John Piper) that are hammering the point that God not only allows and uses suffering to sanctify people, but He also intends suffering, plans the painful circumstances, and makes sure that suffering occurs in believers' lives. I could provide the links to these sermons, if anyone wishes. John 11 and the book of Job are used primarily to back up their points. I belong to a body of believers that's very concerned with God's sovereignty over all things, so if any suffering happens that opposes His will, that would be perceived as a threat to this aspect of who He is.

What troubles me a little is that a discussion has already been underway at my workplace, where church planters overseas are seeking to counteract what they term as "fatalism" among unreached people groups. For instance, in their countries, when a young person constantly makes stupid choices and dies on his motorcycle, since he wasn't wearing a helmet, his relatives console themselves with, "It is written." I myself have experienced some really crazy driving by foreign drivers, who keep muttering, "If it is God's will, if it is God's will..." as they make crazy, reckless moves into oncoming traffic. They reason that they may drive as bad as they wish because God's will is always going to be done, and they can't die until He wills it. Some of my co-workers want to counteract this philosophy and show that these deaths that keep happening could have been prevented. That they were not predestined.

I'm beginning to sense that I'm being called to adopt a few fatalistic principles--namely, seeing all suffering as God's will, in order to uphold the idea of God's sovereignty. In American Christianity, we don't call it fatalism, though. It's going to be called something more impressive because who wants to be known as a fatalist? I can tell you this--if/when my daughter gets sick, I'm planning to take her to the doctor, believing that God wants to heal her and use medicine, rather than passively waiting for the suffering she's going through to develop her character(?) take its full course and horribly weakens her. God has given me reason, and I'm going to assume, until I know differently, that He expects me to do everything in my power to fight against viruses and predators in her life and mine--even if they've been appointed, ultimately, by Him.

David and his buddy Saul

Last week, I flipped open the Bible hoping to get some kind of wisdom to light my way, and I read a couple chapters in 1 Samuel about the many chances David was seemingly presented in order to kill King Saul while the latter monarch was out constantly trying to kill him. It's almost comical. First, Saul goes to sleep in a cave where David and his men are hanging out; later, Saul chooses the one cave where David is hiding to enjoy his private bowel movement. Can you imagine lying still and quiet right next to the illustrious king while he's doing his business in the dark? Finally, David creeps into Saul's camp, gets all the way into the tent, and he still doesn't kill Saul. Because Saul was "the Lord's anointed," and David trusted that God would take care of Saul Himself. He didn't have to take matters into his own hands and bring sin upon himself.

I thought about how often I'll look at some opportunity that the Lord seemingly drops in my lap, and then I just assume that He wants to give me a gift, and I grab at it--not asking whether it's wise or sinful. It just looks good and easy, so I go for it. David chose not to sin and kill Saul even though it looked like God was repeatedly handing Saul's life over to David for an easy assassination. David waited and chose to suffer for years (choosing hardship for his family and men as well), then God exalted David and brought him into leadership over the country at the appointed time. I admire David's steadfastness and want to look at new opportunities presented to me...slowly. I don't want to kill any Sauls before their time, you might say (or I might).

Dying daily

Last year, I attended a funeral with my wife, Katherine, and we found it difficult to avoid cracking up during one of the "Special Music" moments performed by the departed lady's nephews and niece. You see, they mangled the lyrics of a fairly well-known song in a unique way. The song was by Fernando Ortega, titled "Give Me Jesus," and its performers are supposed to sing:
"In the morning when I rise, in the morning when I rise, in the morning when I rise, give me Jesus."
Instead, these mourning relatives obviously had something else on their minds, as they mistakenly sang (I kid you not): "In the morning when I die, in the morning when I die, in the morning when I die, give me Jesus."
The performance effectively ruined the song for us for the rest of our lives, as we find it pretty impossible to hear the song on the radio without singing along, "In the morning when I die!"
Then yesterday, I was thinking about Jesus' call for his followers to take up their crosses daily and follow Him, and I remembered that song, "In the morning when I die..." and realized that each morning I can choose to "die" to my own desires and perceived needs or live for myself and miss what God wants to give in place of what I'm grasping to own, build, and receive glory through. Having Jesus to fill me up makes it possible to die to self daily. Maybe God speaks to me through incidents like this, or maybe I'm making too much out of very little, but I know that the remade song speaks to me in a new way that most Christian music does not, so I praise God for it.