My testimony of God's grace--part 1

I'm reading Cultivating a Life for God, by Neil Cole, and I was encouraged by the passage I read this morning to share my testimony of God's grace in my life.

I knew about Jesus from an early age, went to church, read the Bible, and even asked Him to come into my heart at a church camp. Thereafter, I kept asking Him to come back into my heart, because I thought He was making some quick exits each time I committed sin. My life in Christ eventually became limited to some halfhearted prayers muttered before drifting to sleep.

At the age of 21, September 1995 (10 years from right now, as a matter of fact), I felt on the edge of a nightmare, as I prepared to graduate from Grand Canyon University in a few months. I didn't know where I would go next, what kind of career I would have, or how to do much of anything besides watch movies, go to school, use my cameras, and work at a video store. I would not have said then that I hungered for God, but I did know that my heart longed for unconditional love--wherever I could get it. I had watched my dad end/begin 4 marriages in 3 years, and I now know that I inherited much of his grasping after love.

When a girl I liked from one of my classes agreed to let me treat her for dinner after she helped me with a school project, I did whatever I could to get her to love me, including going to church with her. Even started reading the Bible again. It took me a long time to get over the fact that she would never love me in the way I wanted--about 6.5 years in fact. But she did help me see that what I was looking for could not be found in a human relationship--that I needed to seek after God for the kind of love my heart needed. And I did--I tried it. And He did--He met with me and showed me His power over my sin, over my career, my finances, friendships, and everything else--when I put my life in His hands and invited Him to do whatever He wanted with it.

I really started growing right after graduation, when another friend, who worked at a small Baptist church, invited me to live with him and work for the church part-time. This was the first time I ever lived in real community with other believers, and God completely changed my world view.

More tomorrow...