Easily Offended

In reviewing my own character over the years, I think I can say that I'm someone who's been quite easily offended. Whether it's someone who doesn't reply to phone calls or email promptly, or if I detect some character flaw, or whatever, I tend to take it personally. Somehow, I'm able to see with eagle eyes the imperfections and sins in others, but my own seem to remain in utter darkness...so I often don't even try to pick them out and delete them.

This morning, as I took my shower, I was somehow reminded of a person at work who I felt had wronged my wife more than a year ago, and I began rehearsing scenarios in my head where I would confront that person, and they would feel ashamed, and I would be heroic. I think that I went on like this for about 10 minutes before finally catching myself--yuck.

When I took this job, my new boss told me that I seemed like an unhappy person, and I then tried to explain the circumstances I was living under that might cause him to be perceiving me that way. Then he told me that I should expect people to let me down in this new work of recruiting, and he asked whether I would be OK with that. I said yes. 18 months later, I have a better understanding of what he was talking about back then.

Ultimately, I have to recognize that when I'm angry with other people, I'm really angry at the Lord. I'm shaking my fist at circumstances He's put me in for my good, and He's calling on me to look at Him with thanksgiving and faith that He's working all things together for my good (and theirs, too).

Thankfully, He also chooses to mold us through victories, too. When things are going well, people are living up to my expectations, and life seems pretty grand, it's sometimes even more difficult to look at Him and deny all the "treasure" I see around me, counting it as worthless in comparison with knowing Him. But He calls me to do it all the same--even when I just want to bask in earthly glory.

KnowhutImean?